When God Says No (Sis, He’s Not the One, Only a Counterfeit)

Have you ever ever been in a relationship with a man who you thought was the one? I imply, he was the proper package deal on the surface—tall, good-looking, stated all the fitting issues, and even attended church repeatedly. He appeared to be all the pieces you prayed for in a future husband. However then, his true colours had been revealed. You later found that he was not despatched by God however extra like by Devil. You had been deceived and ended up heartbroken, feeling like a idiot.
Sis, you aren’t alone. I, like many different girls, share the same story of a counterfeit relationship that left me offended and confused, selecting up all of the items of my shattered coronary heart. However I wish to inform you that there’s hope. God healed me and gave me knowledge to assist me keep away from it from occurring once more sooner or later. I wish to cross this identical data on to you as your sister in Christ as I share extra of my private story—if you’ll let me.
What’s a Counterfeit Relationship?
First, I wish to make sure that we’re on the identical web page after I consult with the time period “counterfeit relationship.” It’s a relationship that appears good on the surface however, deep down, lacks authenticity and substance. Counterfeit companions are misleading by nature and infrequently have ulterior motives—to wreck their victims for private acquire by profiting from the weak. They look like godly however are actually wolves in sheep’s clothes. They’re by no means actually surrendered to God.
2 Corinthians 11:14 says, “However I’m not stunned! Even Devil disguises himself as an angel of sunshine” (NLT). This scripture exhibits us that not all the pieces that looks like mild actually is.
I wish to share with you three tips about learn how to discern a counterfeit from the actual factor in order that you’ll by no means need to be deceived or undergo the emotional ache of a counterfeit relationship once more.
How you can Acknowledge a Counterfeit Relationship
1. Examine the Fruit
Oftentimes, many ladies can simply grow to be head over heels for a love curiosity, which makes them fall prey to counterfeits. I used to be a hopeless romantic and a straightforward goal for mine. I used to be blinded by love and ignored many crimson flags. That’s why I encourage girls to make use of their heads earlier than their hearts grow to be absolutely invested.
Sis, guard your coronary heart and use your eyes. Take a look at the fruit in his life. Matthew 7:18 and 20 says, “A great tree can’t produce unhealthy fruit, and a nasty tree can’t produce good fruit…Sure, simply as you possibly can determine a tree by its fruit, so you possibly can determine individuals by their actions” (NLT). Pay much less consideration to the phrases he says and extra consideration to what he’s truly doing. Simply since you met him at church or he’s a professing Christian doesn’t imply he’s the actual deal.
What’s his character like? Does he observe by means of on his guarantees? Is he constant? Is he dwelling a life that’s submitted to the Phrase of God and His instructions? The man I dated was flaky, his tales didn’t add up, and his private life-style didn’t replicate that of a follower of Christ. His actions revealed unhealthy fruit. You may imitate mild, however you possibly can’t pretend fruit. So once more I say, examine that fruit!
2. Take heed to Godly Counsel
One other tip I usually give is: don’t date alone. I encourage you to ask your godly neighborhood into your relationship relationships. Proverbs 11:14 says, “The place there is no such thing as a counsel, the individuals fall; however within the multitude of counselors there may be security” (NKJV). Wolves prefer to go after the loner, however for those who keep inside your neighborhood, you gained’t grow to be a sufferer of their schemes.
Your pals, household, and trusted individuals in your life can see what you possibly can’t. They’ll additionally present clever recommendation when challenges or uncertainty come up throughout the relationship. Now, I encourage you to take heed of their recommendation. My family and friends warned me in regards to the man I used to be relationship. Sadly, I dismissed their warnings, and I suffered drastically. There’s no level in having counsel for those who keep away from their knowledge. So take heed to them as a result of they’ve your greatest pursuits at coronary heart and don’t wish to see you get damage.
3. Belief God’s “No”
This one often is the hardest to do, but it surely presents the most effective reward. Sadly, for me, it took some time to see the significance of trusting God’s “no.” Together with not heeding the recommendation of my associates, I additionally disregarded the warnings from God.
You see, God warned me by means of a number of desires that this man had a number of girls in his life and that he was not His greatest for me. I didn’t wish to settle for it as a result of I didn’t wish to be alone. I felt like God simply wished me to be single perpetually. However the fact of the matter was that He had higher plans for me.
Isaiah 55:8 says, “For My ideas usually are not your ideas, nor are your methods My methods,” says the LORD. Sis, you must belief God. He has your greatest pursuits at coronary heart. He can see the guts and secrets and techniques of the man you might be relationship you can’t see. He additionally is aware of the long run and the plans He has for you. No matter that will entail, simply know that they’re good as a result of He’s good! Trusting God’s “no” will prevent time, sources, vitality, psychological stress, and heartache in the long term. It may not make sense in the mean time, however wanting again, you’ll understand it was all in love.
Discovering Therapeutic After a Counterfeit Relationship
It took some time, however I lastly trusted God’s “no” for that individual counterfeit. Afterward, I targeted on rebuilding my relationship with God and sought therapeutic for my damaged coronary heart. I worshipped, learn the Bible, prayed, journaled what was on my coronary heart, took lessons, frolicked with like-minded believers, and targeted on enhancing myself for when the fitting one got here. I discovered Psalm 147:3 to be true: “He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds” (NLT). God did simply that as I hung out with Him.
You might really feel such as you’ll by no means be capable of love once more after going by means of such emotional heartache, however I’m right here to inform you that it’s going to get higher. Real love is on the market. On the proper time, God introduced me my husband, Damien. When he pursued me, I noticed the godly fruit in his life, all my associates accredited of the connection, and God (and my pure father) gave us the sure to get married. Now, we live in a purposeful and joy-filled marriage with youngsters. It was all definitely worth the journey and the wait.
I pray you discovered my story encouraging. I wish to go away you with this final thought: “It’s higher to attend on the actual factor than waste time on a counterfeit.” Sis, you are price greater than an imitation. You deserve actual, godly love.
When you loved this weblog, I wish to invite you to my FREE webinar referred to as “Avoiding Counterfeit Relationships,” the place I dive deeper into this subject and offer you 4 sensible steps on learn how to break away from a counterfeit relationship and obtain therapeutic as you look forward to God’s greatest. I even have a FREE present for many who attend the webinar and keep to the very finish. You may acquire entry to the webinar HERE! See you inside.
With Love,
Kenady Nash
Photograph Credit score: ©Getty Photos/dragana991
Collectively, Kenady and Damien share content material on relationships, religion, humor, and private progress by means of YouTube, Instagram, and TikTok @DamienandKenady. Additionally they co-own Fully You 365, LLC. To study extra go to completelyyou365.com.